Most food delivery instructions are fairly predictable.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!You know, the standard: “Leave at the door” or “Don’t ring the bell.”
But one customer has gone viral after using the delivery notes to brief their driver on what appears to be an ongoing feud with a man named Larry.
Instead of directions about the apartment building, the customer’s message reads more like the opening scene of a low-budget action movie.
The instructions begin normally enough, with them writing: “When you get to my stoop please press 5B on the buzzer and WAIT FOR ME to come down.”
Then the plot takes a dramatic turn: “If there’s a big dude sitting on the steps claiming the food is his, do not believe him.”
The customer then identifies the alleged culprit: “That’s Larry.”
Rather than simply ignoring him, the driver is given one additional task: “Please look him dead in the eye and say, ‘F**k you, Larry.'”
As it turns out, this apparently wasn’t Larry’s first alleged food-related offence.
The customer claims: “He has successfully hijacked my dinner on two separate occasions and I refuse to let him feast on my dime a third time.”
The message ends with one final instruction that sounds less like a delivery request and more like military orders: “Protect the bag at all costs. I’ll tip extra.”
The screenshot quickly spread across social media, where thousands of people admitted they had become far more invested in the mysterious Larry saga than they expected.
One person wrote: “Better than most movie plots in recent times”
Another joked that one particular line deserved a place in everyday vocabulary, joking: “‘Protect the bag at all costs’ is now my absolute favorite phrase for petty drama.”
Some delivery drivers even volunteered for the mission. “As a dasher I would be happy to follow these instructions,” they commented on Pubity’s post.
Others imagined the poor driver’s confusion after opening the notes.
“Bro turned Uber Eats into a public safety broadcast,” another typed, with one Instagram user joking: “Bless Larry’s heart… he’s become part of the delivery instructions. That’s a new level of famous”
Whether Larry really exists or whether he’s become the internet’s latest mythical villain remains unknown. What is clear is that if someone has allegedly stolen your takeaway twice, trust is understandably in short supply.
Hopefully the customer made good on the promised extra tip, because I consider that hazard pay.
Either way, we all know a Larry… and f**k Larry.
Featured image credit: Pexels/MikeJones (free to use)/Instagram (screenshot)
