Every parent knows the situation. You’re out, you’re busy — and suddenly, your child needs the bathroom immediately.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!But for some dads, that everyday moment has now turned into a full-blown debate that has divided thousands online.
Because the question isn’t just, “where’s the nearest toilet?” It’s, “which one do you even use?”
The discussion began when brothers Andrew Loffa — a radio host known as DJ Drewski — and Michael Colletti found themselves at Walt Disney World with their two-year-old daughters.
Both girls needed the bathroom at the same time. Simple problem, right?
Well, not quite.
Loffa assumed they’d head straight into the men’s room — the approach he’s always taken with his daughter, Solar.
But Colletti had other ideas. “I was like, ‘Mike are you kidding?’” DJ Drewski told TODAY. “I thought he was joking around.”
Instead, Colletti — a police officer — was actively looking for the women’s bathroom. With no time to debate, the two dads split up and did things their own way.
But the disagreement didn’t end there. Later that day, DJ Drewski took to TikTok to ask a much bigger question — and the internet quickly piled in.
For him, the answer seemed straightforward. He didn’t feel comfortable entering a women-only space.
“The female bathroom is a safe space for women — and I don’t want to invade safe space,” Drewski said. He even revealed one comment that stuck with him: “the gender of the parent determines the restroom.’”
Colletti, however, saw it completely differently.
“A men’s room isn’t a place for a little girl to be,” Colletti said, adding that he always announces himself before entering the women’s bathroom. “As long as you do that, you’re good.”
That split — safety versus comfort, etiquette versus practicality — is exactly what’s fuelled the debate. Because – as you’re about to discover – there is no single definitive “correct” answer.
And depending on who you ask, both sides make sense. Parenting expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa weighed in, siding with the idea that dads should generally stick to the men’s bathroom.
“If the men’s room is a little bit dirtier, so what? We don’t assume that little boys are in danger from coming in contact with men’s room germs,” she explained to TODAY. “And if you’re going to be standing outside the stall or in there with her, she’s fine.”
Her advice was simple: “Unless there’s a good reason to use the women’s room, stick to the men’s room. They’re not going to get cooties.”
But online, the response has been anything but unified. Thousands of parents shared their own experiences — and their own rules.
“My dad used to bring me to the guys bathroom and have me close my eyes until we got into the stall,” one person wrote. Another added: “My dad used to pick me up, and I would bury my head in his shoulder, covering my eyes, and he would announce in the men’s bathroom that he was bringing his daughter in.”
Others argued the opposite — that women’s bathrooms are the better option entirely. One women wrote: “Definitely the ladies room. You just announce yourself first, ‘girl dad coming in!’”
“I remember being a child and feeling really weird and awkward and uncomfy going in the men’s with my dad even if I knew I was safe,” another commented.
And some pointed out that cleanliness isn’t always what people assume.
“As someone who cleaned bathrooms when I was a teenager, women’s bathrooms are NOT more clean, I would spend hours cleaning the women’s restrooms, while the male cleaner had to wait for me till I was done,” another comment read.
The debate goes even deeper when it comes to privacy.
Some believe women’s bathrooms are simply more suitable for young children. “Women’s bathrooms, unlike men’s are more private,” one person argued. “The father wouldn’t be seeing anything. In a men’s bathroom the child would walk in to men exposed. Hello!”
However, others strongly disagreed. “No men in a women’s room. Highly inappropriate,” another responded.
Some suggested a middle ground — asking women inside first, or even requesting help from someone already in the bathroom — though that idea brought its own concerns.
Because ultimately, many parents don’t feel comfortable relying on strangers in that kind of situation. And then there are those who think the whole debate is overblown.
“Why does it matter? I have never been in a men’s public restroom where I could see anything private. Guys at the urinal aren’t standing 3 feet back waving their private parts for all to see,” another commented.
One TikTok user commented: “Who gives a cr*p— why are people so concerned with bathrooms?”
But for some dads, the decision comes down to practicality — and protection.
One father, Muhammed Nitoto, explained why he chooses to use women’s restrooms when out with his daughters.
“They are too young to go on their own, so I have to go in with them,” he said in a now-viral Instagram post. He added that he tries to be respectful by announcing himself before entering and making sure anyone inside is comfortable.
And for him, the reasoning is clear. “Women’s bathrooms are so much cleaner and set up perfect if you have children,” he explained. “As a girl dad, I can’t help but want to protect my daughters from all things that aren’t for them and the men’s bathroom is 100% one of those things…”
That perspective has been widely supported — particularly by women who say they’d rather see a father accompany his child than risk sending them somewhere alone.
But even with that support, the divide remains.
Because at its core, this isn’t just about bathrooms. It’s about parenting decisions made in real time — often under pressure… and with no perfect answer.
Featured image credit: World Manual/Instagram/chroniclesofdaddy
